Screw this.

Mood: Pissed
Song: My Old Man by Good Charlotte

Ciao.

I'm done. I am done with all of this pretending to be happy on my blog when nobody even reads this. So I'm going to use this as a way to vent. But not in the same way you would use a diary or a journal to vent, because with this I can always have that small ray of hope that someone will read it and make things better. Or at least understand.
Here's one thing you're going to need to learn if you're going to read this. My family has anger issues. Short tempers. No patience. It's a product of our raising. If, for your entire life, your parents yelled and got mad about the smallest things, how would you deal with stress? The way they do. 
That's how we learn to deal with our emotions- Watching our parents. Monkey see monkey do, if you will. It's not something you can control, it's just nature.
My parents are always stressed. Always. It didn't used to be so bad. When I was little they'd get mad at reasonable things, and they were still stressed, but we did things we were supposed to (bathing, school work, etc.) and we were more or less.. Happy. Now? Hah. Right. It's like living in a blender from hell.
You might be thinking, "Oh it's probably because you're a teenager and you're supposed to dislike your parents and your life and stuff," But if you lived here you'd understand. This isn't entirely teen angst.
Maybe you'll come to understand.. If I keep up with this, anyway. I have a short temper. I get mad easily but I get over it fast. In person, anyway. Right now I'm not even that mad anymore, just annoyed.
While I was eating a yummy 300 calorie-filled ham & cheese Hot Pocket a little while ago, my TWENTY YEAR OLD brother came upstairs and told my mother, in a loud voice, to punish our seventeen year old brother for logging him off the computer when he had just gotten on. The twenty year old told the seventeen year old to get off and the seventeen year old said, "Suck my dick." He said this to my mother, in front of at least 3 kids under the age of 10.
My mother then started yelling at the twenty year old for saying something like that in front of little kids. They then proceeded to have a yelling-match. Which, as it works in my house, got everyone else pissed off.
What makes me so mad about it is that my mother gets mad at me when I want to be at a friends house for a few days. I don't want to be home. Ever. It sucks and it's all stress. No wonder we're all a bit chubby!
I'm all out of a fuel now, but be sure that I'll post next time something happens. Which'll be soon, probably.


Arrivederci.
~Lily~

So many things have changed.

Mood: Bored
Song: On the Rise (from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)

Ciao.

I haven't been on here in months and it seems that they have changed the website a bit. They don't have the fonts I usually use so I'll use the closest I can find.
I have gone through all of my [6] previous posts and am sickened by how I used to write. Those random backwards smiley faces and talking about what I've been doing, like anyone even cares. I have five followers. No one even reads my stuff.
Anyway....
Since I last posted in December, things have changed. Big time. Let's see...

1. Due to my over-active imagination and anxiety, I slipped into a depression. A real one, where I have to take medicine for it. Fantastic.

2. I sang. By myself. With a mic. Onstage. !!! I mean it was, like, 2 lines throughout the entire song that was just me, but still.


3. I met someone. Sort of. He doesn't know it, but he's a big part of the reason why I'm so happy now. I mean, I guess the medicine is probably part of it, but... Yeah. :)


And probably some other stuff that I can't remember right now. It's not what I'm used to.
It's good, though, I think. The last part, not the first. Haha.
Not that anyone cares, but I'm going to try to post every week. Every Monday? Possibly.

Yeah...

Arrivederci!
~Lily~